I can't believe it Halloween, my favorite holiday. What's bad is that I'm really not celebrating this year. I really didn't decorate, I just put stickers on my windows that's about it, and I didn't even carved a pumpkin. I use to go all out and go treak'n'treating. I'm not in the mood. So tonight all I'm doing is eating Mexican food and eating candy and watching all my favorite Horror Movies. So I made a list of my favorite movies I will be watching tonight and if I don't all of them tonight I will watch the rest tomorrow, I really don't care.
Movies Tonight
1. Dracula
2. Frankenstein
3. Hocus Pocus
4. The Craft
5. The new Dracula
6. Stephen King's Storm of the Century
7.The Woods
8. Wolfman
9. Van Helsing
10. 50 Horror Classic movies (too many to list)
11. The Crow
12. The Crow: City of Angels
13. Anaconda
14. Cursed
15. Murder of Decree
16. Silence of the Lambs
17. Fright Night
18. Hansel and Gretel
19. The Lady Vanishes
20. Scream
21. Scream 2
22. Stephen King's Langoliers
23. The Haunting of Silver Springs
24. Silent Hill: Revelation
25. The Awakening
26. Werewolf
27. The Cat and the Canary
28.Rosemary's Baby
29. Devil's Prey
30. The Moth Diaries
31. Pharaoh's Curse
32. The Missing
33. Congo
34. Solomon Kane
35. The Raven
36. The Grey
37. Stephen King's Bag of Bones
38. The Fog
39. The Nightmare before Christmas
40. My favorite Goosebumps
41. The Twilight Zone
42. Alfred Hitchcock
I'm not going to watch all of these, but these are some of my favorite that I will be watching. I hope all of you enjoy your Halloween and please be safe out there.
'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.
~William Shakespeare
Friday, October 31, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
I'm Free
I made a huge decision that i didn't know if I could do it, but I did it. I can't be used anymore, I can't be a puppet and manipulated into doing things that I know that its not right. It's my turn to take my path and pick how i want it and not tell me what to do and tell me who I should be and how I should do things. I was never a friend, I was their option. I was only there if they wanted to start trouble, and do mean things and get me involved. My wheels are finally turning and I should've noticed what was happening, but i didnt. Now I'm alone and this evil ruined alot of good things. This evil thinks its so funny and its not funny to me.
Now its my turn to take the reins and decide who I want to be. I know the past can't be fixed, but I hope one day the bridges that have burn can be built again. What's important now, is Me. To figure what I want, to do things by myself until Brian comes home. Do things that i love like reading, writing, painting, taking long nature walks. I miss taking my long walks and exploring new things that I have never done before.
To be there for friends and not hide the truth from people that I love. No more lying for other people, that's what gets me in trouble. I'm free, there was a lot of weight on my shoulders and it has lifted. Now I can go and walk like nothing hit me like their anger, hatred, pride, lust, greed.
I don't have to be afraid, now I can have my own opinions and not being told how i feel. I don't need that in my life, because that makes me look fake and I'm not fake. I don't like center of attention, I'm to shy for that. I'm a thinker and creative.
No one can control me anymore. I'm Free
"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." -Maya Angelou.
That's all I was: AN OPTION. I'm Free!
Now its my turn to take the reins and decide who I want to be. I know the past can't be fixed, but I hope one day the bridges that have burn can be built again. What's important now, is Me. To figure what I want, to do things by myself until Brian comes home. Do things that i love like reading, writing, painting, taking long nature walks. I miss taking my long walks and exploring new things that I have never done before.
To be there for friends and not hide the truth from people that I love. No more lying for other people, that's what gets me in trouble. I'm free, there was a lot of weight on my shoulders and it has lifted. Now I can go and walk like nothing hit me like their anger, hatred, pride, lust, greed.
I don't have to be afraid, now I can have my own opinions and not being told how i feel. I don't need that in my life, because that makes me look fake and I'm not fake. I don't like center of attention, I'm to shy for that. I'm a thinker and creative.
No one can control me anymore. I'm Free
"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." -Maya Angelou.
That's all I was: AN OPTION. I'm Free!
Friday, October 24, 2014
24th Birthday
Oh man I can't believe that I'm 24 years old. I can't believe how fast my life has been and I have had so many adventures in my life and I'm so blessed they have happened. I'm thankful to god for this birthday and many more to come. Let's see if I have 24 fabulous memories.
1. October 25, 1990: I was born in Elgin, Illinois, to the greatest parents a girl can ask for.
2. My first trip to Walt Disney World in 1992
3.January 24, 1994: My little brother and my best friend was born, in Rockford, Illinois.
4.My first pet was a hamster name Snowball.
5. My first favorite Halloween movie was Hocus Pocus.
6. When I was six, my first PG-13 movie was Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, which I watched with my dad. (My mom never knew that).
7.Going to Grandma Doud's house in Iowa, riding on the Jet Ski and going fishing with grandpa. I remember a time when me and grandpa were fishing and Grandpa caught a turtle and it scared him and he fell into the lake. It was so funny, but I felt bad for grandpa.
8.Going to Apple River Canyon, in Illinois.
9.Going to New Salem with Grandma and Grandpa Wendt down in Springfield, Illinois.
10. Henry Vilas Zoo is one of my favorite places in Madison, Wisconsin, I have been going to that zoo my whole life and I love it there. It has been about 5 years since I've been there. I miss it terribly.
11.The very first movie I saw in theater was Disney's Aladdin.
12. The best days was driving my parents crazy with me watching Disney's The Little Mermaid over and over again.
13. Watching Classic TV shows: The Munsters, Bewitched, I Dreamed of Jeannie, The Addams Family
14.I love Mexican food, when I was a baby I loved hot salsa
15. Growing up with all the Harry Potter Books and Movies.
16.My first horse name Phazon Mr. Twister, My best friend (R.I.P)
17. Went to Walt Disney World for the 2000 Millennium: It was awesome and Epcot had a parade and a great firework show, it was so fun and it was my brother's first time at Disney and also the foreign exchange student that was living with us it was her first time too.
19.Going Washington D.C.: That was a great vacation
20. Going to South Dakota to Mt. Rushmore and all the sitings thats there.
21. Beacon College: The school that made me who I am today. Meeting new people and made a lot of great friends. Friends that will be there forever.
22. Meeting Brian Kaminski in my General Anthropology class. The first day I met him I just knew that I was going to end up being with him whether or not at the time he was with someone.
23. Going to Walt Disney World with my friends.
24. Getting in engaged to Brian Kaminski, my best friend and my future husband.
I have had a pretty awesome life and there is more things to come and I can't wait.
1. October 25, 1990: I was born in Elgin, Illinois, to the greatest parents a girl can ask for.
2. My first trip to Walt Disney World in 1992
3.January 24, 1994: My little brother and my best friend was born, in Rockford, Illinois.
4.My first pet was a hamster name Snowball.
5. My first favorite Halloween movie was Hocus Pocus.
6. When I was six, my first PG-13 movie was Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, which I watched with my dad. (My mom never knew that).
7.Going to Grandma Doud's house in Iowa, riding on the Jet Ski and going fishing with grandpa. I remember a time when me and grandpa were fishing and Grandpa caught a turtle and it scared him and he fell into the lake. It was so funny, but I felt bad for grandpa.
8.Going to Apple River Canyon, in Illinois.
9.Going to New Salem with Grandma and Grandpa Wendt down in Springfield, Illinois.
10. Henry Vilas Zoo is one of my favorite places in Madison, Wisconsin, I have been going to that zoo my whole life and I love it there. It has been about 5 years since I've been there. I miss it terribly.
11.The very first movie I saw in theater was Disney's Aladdin.
12. The best days was driving my parents crazy with me watching Disney's The Little Mermaid over and over again.
13. Watching Classic TV shows: The Munsters, Bewitched, I Dreamed of Jeannie, The Addams Family
14.I love Mexican food, when I was a baby I loved hot salsa
15. Growing up with all the Harry Potter Books and Movies.
16.My first horse name Phazon Mr. Twister, My best friend (R.I.P)
17. Went to Walt Disney World for the 2000 Millennium: It was awesome and Epcot had a parade and a great firework show, it was so fun and it was my brother's first time at Disney and also the foreign exchange student that was living with us it was her first time too.
19.Going Washington D.C.: That was a great vacation
20. Going to South Dakota to Mt. Rushmore and all the sitings thats there.
21. Beacon College: The school that made me who I am today. Meeting new people and made a lot of great friends. Friends that will be there forever.
22. Meeting Brian Kaminski in my General Anthropology class. The first day I met him I just knew that I was going to end up being with him whether or not at the time he was with someone.
23. Going to Walt Disney World with my friends.
24. Getting in engaged to Brian Kaminski, my best friend and my future husband.
I have had a pretty awesome life and there is more things to come and I can't wait.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
A Girl and her Horse
I loved horses and I always wanted one. When I lived in Illinois every time we drove out to Freeport, Illinois there was a little farm that had a cute red barn with white trim and a white fence. There was a grey horse with spots, not sure what breed at the time, but I always said "Hello Spot," even though the horse never heard me, I always said Hello and Goodbye. I always dreamed about horses and one dream was that one day I would own my own and ride them everyday and have a beautiful red stable with white trim, beautiful white fencing and open fields for me to run away to be free from civilization. I took lessons and I met my match and his name was Phazon Mr. Twister. He was my best friend and he gave me a lot of confidence in myself and help me trust him and myself. I rather be with him than humans. I wish he was still alive and I could talk to my best friend. I told him all my secrets, he was the only one i sang too. I miss riding horses, I miss brushing them, I rather hang out with them, than humans. At least they don't hurt you like humans do. I rather be with horses now than being here in a hatred civilization. Horses are so funny and they know what your feeling. There is times when they know you just want to walk instead of ride. When your sad they hug you with their large head and give you kisses. When your happy they know when your ready to work and dance in the arena with upbeat classical music. The heartbeat of a horse runs in my veins to my heart. The fierce of a runner controls my legs like a horse. The temperament of a horse is my attitude. Being with a horse is my Zen zone. I want my old life back, back in the barn, back on the horse. That's the only kind of friend I deserve, the only friend I can trust and that he can trust me. The horse is my soul-mate. If I lived in the world of Harry Potter my patronous to protect me would be a horse. The friendship between a girl and her horse is grace, beauty, spirit, and freedom. The barn for the girl and her horse is a sanctuary to be alone and isolated from the outside world. So what I'm saying a girl and her horse has a much better life in the barn and the open fields, than out in the real world, with real people.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Don't Give Up
If stuff is going wrong in your life and you don't like it Don't Give Up! Take that road ahead of you and fight through the hardships that haunts the road and beat it, don't give up. Don't give up on life, love, trust, friends, yourself. Believe in yourself. You need friends at your side for you not to be alone. We all need each other, we're all in dark places and dark times, but we need one another to lean on each other shoulders and be there for one another.
Don't shut yourself away in a dark and cold place. Come back to the warm sunshine day and smiles and laughter. Be with your friends and don't push them away, you will become a dark and lonely person. Time to forgive and love again. Don't ever give up.
I know you have stubborn heart, but I can relate because I am too. Life without friends will be horrible bitter ending. Our hearts will be hollow, dark, and lonely. We never meant to hurt one another, so can we trust again, to give it another chance to keep us growing stronger everyday. It's not going to be easy, but I know we can do it and be happy. Don't give up on our love, friendship, and bond.
God has given us each other for a reason. He gave us trust, love, friendship, and family. God will never give us anything that we cant handle, he will help us in the process. He has given us the power of choice and chance and he will always be there to get us out. Now its not to time to lose faith and prayer. You would not who you are today for accepting your past and its time to move on and just enjoy your life and never give up. It's time to reach that hand out in the darkest and reach for your friends hands back into the light of happiness. God doesn't want us to give up on each other. We need each other.
Don't Give up! Believe! Believe in yourself! Believe in your Friends!
Don't shut yourself away in a dark and cold place. Come back to the warm sunshine day and smiles and laughter. Be with your friends and don't push them away, you will become a dark and lonely person. Time to forgive and love again. Don't ever give up.
I know you have stubborn heart, but I can relate because I am too. Life without friends will be horrible bitter ending. Our hearts will be hollow, dark, and lonely. We never meant to hurt one another, so can we trust again, to give it another chance to keep us growing stronger everyday. It's not going to be easy, but I know we can do it and be happy. Don't give up on our love, friendship, and bond.
God has given us each other for a reason. He gave us trust, love, friendship, and family. God will never give us anything that we cant handle, he will help us in the process. He has given us the power of choice and chance and he will always be there to get us out. Now its not to time to lose faith and prayer. You would not who you are today for accepting your past and its time to move on and just enjoy your life and never give up. It's time to reach that hand out in the darkest and reach for your friends hands back into the light of happiness. God doesn't want us to give up on each other. We need each other.
Don't Give up! Believe! Believe in yourself! Believe in your Friends!
Monday, October 13, 2014
Wide Awake
I've had a very rough couple of weeks and stuff that happened was very stupid, but all I can do is move on and worry what really matters. I can't dwell on the bad things, but just remember the good things. It's time to forgive and forget and just start living. I have great people in my life and I'm blessed to have them. I need to start anew, a fresh start with everyone, think positive, no more negative, tell the truth whether it hurts others or not. No more drama. Happy times and great memories. If there is no one around to help me, then I will contact my father in the sky for his guidance and just pray and listen to him. If I have hurt anyone because of my stubbornness, I'm truly sorry. I'm wide awake and I need to take care of what really matters. It's time to let go of the bad and bring in the new. Time for me to invite new people in my life. To start over. The friends I have will always be in my heart and will be welcomed into my open arms whenever they choose to. All I can do is focus on school, my internship, Brian, Marriage Prep, and planning my wedding.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Crappy Life
Why is there so many cruel people and they want to start fights with people that they have know for a long time and they're jealous of them and they do very stupid things to friends. I trusted people that I shouldn't have trusted and now I have ruined the best relationship with person that meant a lot to me. Brian is away and I'm here with no shoulder to lean on. What a crappy life this turned out to be.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
To Breathe
To be honest I don't care if anyone gets mad for what I write. My life is so different from all my friends and family. I live separately from my fiance. I go to school and work and take care of our kittens and take care of our house. As for Brian he's up in Indiana going through chemo and treatments yet again without me there. What no one really knows is that Brian has two different kinds of Testicle Cancer. That Brian is worse than he was a few months ago. All he does is sleep all day, because of all the pain he is in. I was told by my parents and his mother that Brian still has his headaches and he's not eating. The hospital has given medication for him to sleep during his pain.
To tell you the truth I have only my family, his family, my school, and a friend who has been at my side since Brian left and she's making a charity for him and that's not going to be starting until November, but I'm very grateful for her and I'm glad she is back in my life, she has been a shoulder to lean on, to call on, and just for her to be there and listen. I wish all my friends could be like her. I use to love doing things by myself and go places by myself, I don't like that anymore. I miss hanging out with my best friend, but she's to busy. I feel alone in all this, whether or not me and Brian had some difficulties a couple weeks ago, we always mend our fights and talk them out, I truly love him and I truly want to marry him, because whether he's a hothead sometimes I'm hothead sometimes, but he can be the sweetest man in the whole wide world. Brian doesn't call me bad names, he takes care of me before himself, even though i tell him not too.
Brian is gentlemen and that's why i fell in love with him the first time i met him. If no one else enjoys his company and also mine, then you don't need to be a part of our life. I'm still planning our wedding, looking at invitations whether having them made by my best friend or just order them. Looking at Dresses, but I found a few that I like, but i need to lose some weight before i can find my perfect dress for my perfect day. Wedding planning to me is very hard. Especially when the theme is Peacock and it's not going very well finding decorations for that. So I'm probably going to have to create my own decorations. One of these days i would like to have a girls day and talk about girl things, have a movie marathon or something to get my mind off of things and just be able to breathe.
That's what i need to do is Breathe and stop worrying and enjoy life, whether bad things is going wrong, i just need to take a walk and breathe.
To tell you the truth I have only my family, his family, my school, and a friend who has been at my side since Brian left and she's making a charity for him and that's not going to be starting until November, but I'm very grateful for her and I'm glad she is back in my life, she has been a shoulder to lean on, to call on, and just for her to be there and listen. I wish all my friends could be like her. I use to love doing things by myself and go places by myself, I don't like that anymore. I miss hanging out with my best friend, but she's to busy. I feel alone in all this, whether or not me and Brian had some difficulties a couple weeks ago, we always mend our fights and talk them out, I truly love him and I truly want to marry him, because whether he's a hothead sometimes I'm hothead sometimes, but he can be the sweetest man in the whole wide world. Brian doesn't call me bad names, he takes care of me before himself, even though i tell him not too.
Brian is gentlemen and that's why i fell in love with him the first time i met him. If no one else enjoys his company and also mine, then you don't need to be a part of our life. I'm still planning our wedding, looking at invitations whether having them made by my best friend or just order them. Looking at Dresses, but I found a few that I like, but i need to lose some weight before i can find my perfect dress for my perfect day. Wedding planning to me is very hard. Especially when the theme is Peacock and it's not going very well finding decorations for that. So I'm probably going to have to create my own decorations. One of these days i would like to have a girls day and talk about girl things, have a movie marathon or something to get my mind off of things and just be able to breathe.
That's what i need to do is Breathe and stop worrying and enjoy life, whether bad things is going wrong, i just need to take a walk and breathe.
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